11. How to Offset the Cost of Raising a Child Placed in Your Care

No One Gets Rich Here

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Am I laughing that we committed to roughly $600,000 in expenses while I had visions of the end of working? Ned and I consider ourselves middle-class. We worked hard all our lives, and I always tried to save 15% (my father’s advice) for an early retirement at the age of 60 (which is how old I will be in months, not years). I was planning to tour the world’s exotic places like Bali and Africa. The expense of raising children is placed on most kinship caretakers at a time many are facing or in retirement.

Source: the Wall Street Journal (8/19/2022) (author Rita Torchinsky):

“The cost of raising a child through high school has risen to more than $300,000 because of inflation that is running close to a four-decade high, according to a Brookings Institution estimate. 

It determined that a married, middle-income couple with two children would spend $310,605—or an average of $18,271 a year—to raise their younger child born in 2015 through age 17.”

In the summer of 2019, while driving home from work, I saw a billboard outside advertising a lecture series, Grandparents Raising Grandchildren, to be presented at the three local libraries closest to our home. Still before Covid, with no registration required, I was all in. I longed for a supportive community during the turbulence of our situation. I needed “appropriate” people, not coworkers, who understood, to talk to and not be alone in our struggle. We’d been an awkward family for one year at this point, and I had no luck finding any in person support groups locally. (Zoom didn’t become a household word till 2020.) I did find one 132 miles away but it simply wasn’t realistic.

I’d abundantly visited our local library since my childhood, and its close proximity was a main reason for purchasing our house, but never once in all those decades had I ever set foot in the basement. Stepping off the elevator was refreshing as the coolness settled on my sweaty summer skin and revealed a beautifully finished hallway and conference room complete with a theater screen. Tables had been set up on one side of the hall with a different organization at each providing literature for their respective purposes: Lifeline, Ohio Council on Aging, Lake County Job and Family Services, and WIC, etc. Clearly the agencies I’ll be discussing are Ohio based, but every state has some form of Job and Family Services (think Social Services, Human Services, Family and Children Services, etc. as a starting point). I scanned the small crowd seated in the conference room facing the screen, and recognized one person to my surprise.

I occasionally refer to my time during my first marriage before Ned, as “in my other life”. I considered my situation then as “well off” financially. Our two biological children had attended private Catholic schools. We had acreage, a large house, and a small zoo which we cared for and called “pets”. The woman in the conference room met my gaze and recognized me as well. She smiled. I relaxed, and sat down by her. Lisa had belonged to the same Catholic Church which I no longer attended. Her sons had attended the same school as my children, and her husband had been a high-ranked leader in Boy Scouts which both our sons had been active in. I’d never actually talked to Lisa, but I knew her just the same. I admit that almost all of my “couple friends” from that church had been lost when I divorced my first husband, so the relief was more that she didn’t treat me as if I’d had the plague like others. Divorce was a shameful thing to the good Catholics I’d thought of as friends, at a time I felt most alone. I’ll always be Catholic regarding culture, but now we attend a Methodist Church that the children love with people who accept Andy where he is today.

When we were blessed with the care of our grandchildren, no support was mentioned at any time by Children’s Protective Services. To be fair, we didn’t know that the month originally proposed would stretch to over five years and be ongoing either, but at some point, I took a hard look at our situation the way an outsider would. I started to realize that the dream of early retirement was no longer realistic (at least, not the version I had imagined). Ned had been semi forced into retiring early to be home for the children. As the benefit holder, it had made financial sense that I continue to work and supply health insurance. (Today, Ned is of age to be on Medicare.)

Each family’s situation will be unique, but I really think caseworkers should drop off information to families about the programs offered to offset the cost of raising a child without judgement that it isn’t needed. Most of us are older and this is seldom a planned event, but the library presentation was very helpful. Sponsored by the Department of Job and Family Services, a handbook was given to the attendees. The information is also online (listed in order of helpfulness):

• jfs.ohio.gov

• https://fosterandadopt.jfs.ohio.gov/kinship-care/resources-for-kinship-caregivers/financial-assistance

We made use of a couple of the resources personally:

Ohio Works First provides a monthly payment of $221 per child currently in 2023. Minor children living with guardians other than their parents may be eligible for “child-only” assistance, with no time limit. (When reading onsite, remember to distinguish between families who apply vs. “child-only” which does not have an income limit!) This is the best offer I found because it continues till children are 18. In addition, school age recipients can receive fee waivers and hot lunches while in attendance at no cost because of participation in this program as a bonus! OWF pays in substitution for child support. (Social Security would be a contact for help if the parents have passed away.)

• https://jfs.ohio.gov/factsheets/owf.pdf

“The Kinship Permanency Incentive (KPI) program provides temporary (varying amounts for 3 years totaling around $3,000) financial support for minor children in the legal and physical custody of grandparents, relatives or other “kinship caregivers.” The KPI program is designed to promote permanent commitments by kinship caregivers, by helping defray some of the costs of caring for children. (This excerpt and the following are from the Ohio Foster, Adoption, and Kinship Care website above).

To be eligible for the KPI program, the following conditions must be met:

• A court must have awarded the kinship caregiver legal custody or guardianship of the child on or after July 1, 2005. (For us, CPS awarded us guardianship through the courts initially and later we sued for legal custody independent of them.)

• A public children services agency must have conducted a home assessment and approved the child’s placement. (Inspections, fingerprinting and background checks happen when you become a kinship caregiver anyway, so you’ve got this already.)

The gross income of the caregiver’s family, including the child, may not exceed 300 percent of the federal poverty guidelines.” (This was more generous than I would have imagined. Check it out at: https://www.medicaidplanningassistance.org/federal-poverty-guidelines/#.)

WIC, or Women, Infants and Children is a supplemental nutrition program for pregnant women, infants and kids up to age five. Locally based, eligibility requirements are waived for individuals who receive Medicaid (like our children). (Our income wasn’t relevant-it’s based on the kids’ nonexistent income.) Each quarter, I visited their office and had an Electronic Benefit Transfer (EBT) card loaded with groceries deemed “healthy” in exchange for occasional height and weight checks for the children. I was also given nutritional counseling for them which was surprisingly enlightening. I’ve always been a nutrition buff and learning that 100% juice is merely a sugary snack was shocking to me. I guess it’s not really the good parts of the fruit.

• wic.fns.usda.gov/wic

Lisa and I chatted briefly about our children. She and her husband had taken in a nephew of an acquaintance of mixed race whose single mother had overdosed. They were non-related kinship caregivers. Until meeting Lisa, I had incorrectly assumed all Kinship Caregivers were related.)

I mention “mixed race” because I recently learned from another parent with a child in Addie’s class that in Ohio, being black is considered by the state to be a disability! (They were caucasian and angry despite the benefits they received because of the label.) Those parents adopted the child eventually but were allowed to keep Medicaid because Jerry, half black, was considered by CPS to be less likely to be adopted, “disabled”, with no other discernible problems. I don’t even know how to feel about that. I certainly do not believe that being black is a disability (wouldn’t that be racist?), but help is help and I’m happy for them to be able to adopt without worrying about how to pay for healthcare. Our local CPS encouraged that mom and dad become foster parents as well. Too bad that we had to deal with a different CPS because we had the opposite happen. Angel, our caseworker, discouraged me when I brought up becoming a foster parent. She told me that it was almost impossible to get a seat in the classes needed at the big city’s Job and Family Services. She mentioned I could go to a private agency and PAY for the classes if I was interested. She never mentioned KGAP.

Kinship Guardianship Support Program (KGAP) which helps the first six to nine months that a child is placed in your care. There is no application. Eligible kinship caregivers (those who show an interest in becoming foster parents) are identified and paid based on the information entered into the Statewide Automated Child Welfare Information System (SACWIS). The payment in 2021 was $10.20 a day for each child in your care. I’d like to point out that this option requires working closely with CPS which is great if you have a caseworker who is helpful.

• https://jfs.ohio.gov/ocf/PUB-JFS08072-ProgramsSupportingKinshipCaregivers.stm

I recently found a program that opens yearly for application in July that I haven’t tried yet, but will.

ACE (Afterschool Child Enrichment) is an educational savings account program that can be used for before or after school programs, day camps, tuition for learning extension centers, curriculum and materials for homeschool families, tutoring, field trips to historical sites and museums, language classes, and music lessons. Adjusted Gross Income must be below 400% of the federal poverty level (use previous link above for an even more generous assessment of your income in your favor):

• https://www.aceohio.org

There are social programs for those who meet income requirements as well that we did not qualify for. There is a possibility though that retirement’s lower income might change our situation, so I urge everyone to be vigilant as things change in your lives and maybe revisit this page.

SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program) offers EBT cards loaded for groceries with few restrictions on purchases (unlike WIC).

• https://www.fns.usda.gov/snap/recipient/eligibility

Medicaid (health insurance) Although the children thankfully qualify, most caregivers won’t, but my list wouldn’t be complete without it.

https://medicaid.ohio.gov

Childcare vouchers are available in Ohio; however, when I looked at this possibility in 2018, there were no centers close to us that accepted the vouchers.

• https://ohio.gov/residents/resources/child-care-assistance

Lisa and I chatted a bit at the library lecture and I realized that even people I thought of as wealthy take a financial hit caring for children in unplanned generosity. She called me a couple months later to tell me good news from a group called Families First of Lake County (https://familyfirstcenter.org). “All you have to do is go into their office at the local Job and Family Services and sign a paper for a grant-that’s it!” After finding the office, I inquired and was handed a one-sided paper to sign-which I did. A large check came in about two weeks and we were able to purchase a play set for the backyard and start a savings account for the children.

We met again last year at the Catholic Church’s yearly festival that our adult biological children had attended. All our “kinship” kids were with us as we exchanged numbers with intention to get together. Sadly, I lost her number when my phone was reset. It would take another year, and another Church festival, where she bumped into me again. I am always grateful for the gift of friendship-especially good people who share and understand our situation.

Just for the record, I didn’t get nervous about the expenses till I saw the potential total writing this. More yoga and meditation needed…